The Dark Mother Archetype

The Dark Mother is the archetype that emerges after the Crone and so is associated with the Dark Moon.  The Dark Mother sits to the right of the Crone on the women’s wheel in the North direction triad.  And in relation to the day and moon transitions, it is a time of the first slimmest crescent beginning to emerge after the New Moon.

The Dark Mother is the archetype which sits at the threshold of death and re-birth, which one prays will come into life late in age, in the Winter of your life. This archetype is about continuing the paring away begun in the Crone stage and stepping into the essential self with deep connection to Spirit the the place between the worlds. 

Retreat, solitude, and wisdom revealed during the inward turning paves the way for end of life. Dark Mother’s typically reduce their worldly effects, deliberately clearing out and giving away their personal possessions with an eye on what is being left behind for their loved ones to tend to. 

Like the opposing wheel aspect of the Midwife, it is a time of great surrender. This surrender is gradual with growing age, or abrupt when death comes due to illness or catastrophic events. Dark Mothers accept the destructive aspects of life for they know it is a necessary dance around the wheel foretelling rebirth. 

Most women who do extensive work in Dark Mother or Midwife have also become intimately acquainted with the Transformer archetype, learning about fear and courage, finding ways to accept and initiate change.  Ultimately surrendering to the revolution of the wheel with each falling away.

Having watched relatives as they have passed through this Dark Mother Archetype, death can become an ally of discernment. How time and energy is spent, what wisdoms are shared, and lavishing in the importance of the loving connections with those close in. Also common, is the retreat inwards with time spent in prayerful meditation, journaling  and reflection, preparing the way for a good death. 

Death is the final Rite of Passage in the women’s Circle of Life. In the end, we return to the Transformer with the last exhale of our human vessel. Having known this surrender many times already, our last descent in life will be somewhat familiar. We know our fears and footholds as we let go and fall deeply into the arms of the Divine presence. What happens at the moment of one’s death can not be put into words. What results however, is the miracle of life recreating itself, the Transformer as Destroyer becomes the Creatrix ushering in a new Spring.

As the moon passes into the Dark phase, ask yourself

  • Who have I witnessed embrace or reject the dance of the Dark Mother?

  • Where in my life do I ally with death and what does that mean to me?

  • What aspects of Dark Mother do I shy away from?

A Ritual Invitation

Create a sacred space calling in your allies, guardians, ancestral helping spirits and supports. 

  1. Tune into the life giving breath flowing with each inhalation and exhalation.

  2. Imagine a life well lived and your end of days. Seeing those that would sit with you one at a time and express appreciation for your role in their life.

  3. Acknowledge in your heart the reciprocity of grief and gratitude for your life’s blessings, trials, and loves. 

  4. Open your eyes and write down a eulogy you wish to be read at your funeral. One that embodies the fullness of your life’s work, your unique way of being you, and an anecdotal story of connection for your loved ones in attendance. 

  5. Close your eyes now with three cycles of inhalations and exhalations, offering gratitude for the support and insights, going forward with death as a teacher for how to fully embrace the life you walk in today.